Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

― Rainer Maria Rilke

By Sahara Chaldean

It has been close to 20 years that I set the intention of facilitating earth based ceremonies for the
EarthWays collective. I struggled to label and call myself a “wilderness guide” for many years.
Because I wasn’t sure I could take any credit for people listening to their own callings to attend a
program I offered. I constantly found myself questioning the value of my influence over anyone
choosing to practice relational presence with the land and other participants. What was I
“guiding” them to do? Was I really taking them to the “wilderness”?

Then there were the questions about appropriation of the ceremony. Could I take ancient practices
of fasting, calling in the directions, hosting council, smudging, even drumming and make them
my own? Was it okay to charge money for my facilitation?

It continues to take a lot of soul searching for me to answer all of these questions honestly. My
bottom line has always been to create programs that people were hungry for. Programs that would
serve relational presence, deep listening, story telling, community building, marking sacred time
in relationship with the natural world. I’ve incorporated poetry, songs, meditation and all sorts of
creative ways to play around with the ceremony.

With my co-guides, I have facilitated ‘Tea and Death’ conversation parties. Facials with mud.
Collages with plants. Hats made from moss. Egg hunts. Dances around the fire. ‘Ambling’ day
walks. Nature Book Clubs. And many other practices to stimulate intimacy with the earth.

Considering all the time and energy it took to plan and organize these programs, I could never
have been adequately compensated financially for those hours and efforts, before and after the
programs ended. The money people paid me to make these programs happen, was more like ice
cream on top of the cake. I got so much more from attending the program with the participants. I
learned so much more about myself and my relationship with the earth each time I was of service
to the ceremony, the program and the participants!

As I consider whether or not I want to continue to ‘guide’, ‘facilitate’ and ‘host’ EarthWays
‘wilderness’ programs, I want to make sure my intentions stay clear. Does what I offer, serve
people and the earth? Is it okay to charge money? Is it okay to use practices that belonged to
my ancestors? At times, I am not always clear. And THAT is okay. I just need to keep taking my
questions out on to the earth and trust clarity will find me.